An Important Day in My Life
An Important Day
in My Life
Have you ever thought
that an important day in your life. I think most of people have an important
day in their life. Because the life
we had would not take place seamlessly. Sometimes we think that the problem we get is because God
doesn’t love with
us. But think again. God will never give a test
beyond the limits of his creatures.
So am I. When I was given the disease by god I think.
Could I still breathe tomorrow? Imagine if you
woke up with your condition of unconsciousness, breathing or not.
It all happened when I was in second year of my junior high school. The day before I hard to breathe
I was playing football at school. When the day was cloudy.
But we still continue our game. Until it rained and we're still playing. And the
rain stopped. I came home with wet conditions. My
mother was not angry. She just smiled. Because it
was the first time I play football. The next morning I woke up. But I feel there was different with me. I felt uncomfortable with
chest uncomfortable and tightness. Until I
realized that I woke up at 2 in the morning. I felt very uncomfortable. I tried
to call my mother by dropping a small clock next to my bed. My mother came and
asked how I was. I could not speak. I just cried and hear sound coming from my
chest. And all I know is my parents took me to the hospital.
During
the week I was in the hospital. Every time I want to sleep, I had just thought, could I wake up and
breathe tomorrow. My mother just smiled every saw me.
But every time I sleep I felt there was someone who was crying and hugged my
hand. I had believe it was my mother. My mother
says everything will be fine. My lungs are clean.
Doctors diagnosed I had with bronchitis. I had finally surgery. And everything
returned to normal. I had don’t feel uncomfortable again in my body.
And
the most important day of my life was when I split
with my mother. During this time I was the one who always depend on him. I still remember
my mother cries at night last before I moved into the dorm. Janga he just told
you. Then I thought I would be fine without him.

Hi, Adi. This is a very touching story. In the first paragraph, I think you need to check your tense, I think it would be better if you use past tense for ur 1st paragraph. In the 3rd paragraph, I think you should change the word 'he/him' to 'she/her' if it refers to ur mother. Great job! Keep it up!
BalasHapusgood article yes it is a good event fighting!
BalasHapusradii, your story makes me sad :( but there are some words that do not fit in your story, i think it would be better if 'I just cried' you change 'i just crying' and 'he / him' to 'she / her'
BalasHapusHello Ryadi
BalasHapusBasically, you have an event that same with me. I know how the feel. I'm sorry to hear that.
By the way, I suggest you to make a mark to your attention getter which is a sentence that gets the reader interested.
That's all and keep smiling :)
Hi Riyadi,
BalasHapusit's a nice paragraph about you. Your article is good.
But you have to check this sentence " I had don’t feel uncomfortable". should be " i hadn't felt".
thank you.
Ryadi nice paragraph you had written there. Nice Job :). But you must pay attention to your tenses again. Especially in the first paragraph such as "Because the life we had would not take place seamlessly".
BalasHapusIt is a cool composition boy :)
BalasHapusyou wrote it well
but it will be better i think if you change 'My mother just smiled every saw me.'
become
"My mother just smiled every time she saw me."
good job ryadi ;)
owyeah don't forget to comment mine back ehehe
https://dwensblog.wordpress.com/2016/11/08/my-very-exciting-day/
What an inspiring story. I agree with you, we should be grateful for what He has given to us and believe that He will never leave us alone.
BalasHapusMaybe you can fix the sentence "...love with us" into "...love us" in the first paragraph.
What an inspiring story. I agree with you, we should be grateful for what He has given to us and believe that He will never leave us alone.
BalasHapusMaybe you can fix the sentence "...love with us" into "...love us" in the first paragraph.
Hello there,
BalasHapusyour story reminds me of no matter what you do, your parents will always love you unconditionally. This is very touching seeing that that endless love exists. I have one suggestion only. I think you should fix 'Have you ever thought that an important day in your life.' to 'Have you ever thought of an important day in your life?' Thank you.
write good
BalasHapuswrite good
BalasHapusYadi. Its a touchable story. Good. keep writing good. phone your mom as often as you can. hhhhhhhh
BalasHapusHai ryadi!! It's touch me because I want to have mother like your mother. Keep practicing
BalasHapusgood job!!
Please comment back
BalasHapusYou may fix "And the most important day of my life was when I split with my mother. " become "And the most important day of my life is when I split with my mother. "