IELTS writing test 1 : Describing a line graph
Here is an example "How to Describing a Line graph"
The line graph illustrates the number of visiting students to tourist destinations in Europe which are London, Paris and Rome in the period of 2011 to 2014.
The rates of visiting to London showed an increased significantly trend over the year starting from 15.000 to almost 20.000 while the rates of visiting to Rome and Paris experienced fluctuate year by year.
In the year of 2011 the number of visiting students to Rome was the highest amongst other destinations at 18000 and that was happened to in the year of 2013 with the same number. But then it come down dramatically to 12000 in 2012. And in 2014 the number of visiting student in Rome decreased again at 16000 after increased in 2013 and that was the bottom out number of visiting students in the end of the period.
In early 2011 the number of visiting students to London and Paris were 10000 and 15000 successively Pari’s rate increased sharply from 2011 to 2013 reaching the number of 20000 exceeding London rate in 17000 and remained steady till 2014. Which made London becames the most popular destination for students to visit in 2014. In the mean time, the rate of visiting students to Paris decreased dramatically to 18000 from the year 2013 to 2014.
Hi Ryadi, I've read your line graph descriptions, but I see some errors in your writing. Therefore, you should:
BalasHapus1. Put (,) after the word "Paris" on the first paragraph.
2. Change the first sentence on the second paragraph become "the rates of student visited in London"
3. Write "at the end of the period" instead of "in the end of the period"
4. Change becames into become
5. Change the word "Pari's" become "Paris"
Overall, good job :)
Hi ryadi! What a nice post you wrote here
BalasHapusHowever the correct line is how to describe a line graph
Keep up the good work! :)
hi ryadi, i think your writing is good enough, but it will be better if you put coma in the third paragraph sentences. so, it will be become 'but then, it went down..'
BalasHapuskeep writing ryadi!
Hi, Ryadi! It is such a good information for us as a student to be able to know how to understand and describe line graph as you wrote. But it should've written in your description that:
BalasHapusput comma after the word Europe in the first line
"...while the rates by visiting in Rome....." in the second paragraph
".....and that was happening to in the year...."in the third paragraph
"But then it comes down..." in the third paragraph
use "at" rather than "in" at the end of the third paragraph
"...exceeding the London rate..." in the fourth paragraph
"Which made London becomes....." in the fourth paragraph
"In the meantime.."in the fourth paragraph
Good job and keep it up, Yadi.
thanks a lot for call me YADI
HapusHi Ryadi,
BalasHapusI'll go straight to the points.
To be honest, I don't understand this part: 'an increased significantly trend' in the second paragraph. Maybe you were trying to say 'a significant increase'?
Then, I think you should revise 'experienced fluctuate' to 'experienced fluctuation'.
Keep up the good work. You're doing great!
Warmest regards,
Woaaa you describe it such a pro diii
BalasHapusI can understand it easily
Since the experts 👆 already mention what I wanna say
The suggestion from me is just how to describing isnt correct
you should change it to be how to describe because to + v1
Regards
Dwen 😘
Hi, Ryadi! great post on your blog.
BalasHapusthank you for sharing this information. Only small mistakes already mentioned above. Avoid all that, its perfect! good luck!
Hi, Ryad.
BalasHapusYour writing have been improving since last post.
I just want to add, the sentence 'experienced fluctuate' should be revised into 'experienced fluctuation'
'But then it come down dramatically to 12000' should be changed to 'but it came down' as we describe in past tense.
Thanks.
BalasHapusHi Ryadi!
Yor writting is great. It is well organized and detail. But, i've found a little mistake in the first paragraph. "illustrates the number of visiting students to ..." it will be better if " illustrates the number of student visiting to... "
Keep it up! :)
Hi Yadi.
BalasHapusI think all mistakes that your friend convey you is true. It's enough and Please do repair it.
Muah.
Neng.
[REVISION !!!!]
BalasHapusTime/ Tenses
>>> 2011-2014/Past Simple
Topic
>>>Number of Visiting Student to Europe which are London, Paris and Rome
General Comments
>>>The number of visiting student to Rome showed fluctuation over the year and slighlt decrease in the end of the period, while the London's rate showed increased remained steady and iwas increase till 2013 and slip back till the end of the period.
Details
>>> In early 2011 the number of visiting student to Rome was 18000, then dropped dramatically to 12000 in 2012, and jumped back up to 18000 in 2013. However, gradually declined to 16000 in 2014.
In early 2011 the number of visiting student to London remained steady from 15000 to 19000 in the period of 2011 till 2014. In the other hand, the number of visiting students to Paris increased sharply to 20000 visitors between 2011 to 2013 then slip back in 2014 to 18000.
"
Here is an example "How to describe a line graph"
The line graph illustrates the number of students visiting to tourist destinations in Europe which are London, Paris, and Rome in the period of 2011 to 2014.
The rates of student visited in London showed an increased significantly trend over the year starting from 15.000 to almost 20.000, while the rates of visiting to Rome and Paris experienced fluctuation year by year.
In the year of 2011 the number of visiting students to Rome was the highest amongst other destinations at 18000, and that was happened to in the year of 2013 with the same number. But, it came down dramatically to 12000 in 2012. And in 2014 the number of visiting student in Rome decreased again at 16000 after increased in 2013 and that was the bottom out number of visiting students at the end of the period.
In early 2011 the number of visiting students to London and Paris were 10000 and 15000 successively Paris’s rate increased sharply from 2011 to 2013 reaching the number of 20000, exceeding London rate in 17000 and remained steady till 2014. Which made London become, the most popular destination for students to visit in 2014. In the mean time, the rate of visiting students to Paris decreased dramatically to 18000 from the year 2013 to 2014.